Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
