By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She even gives head with a lisp.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
