She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
