i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
