Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just puked most of my soul out..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
