Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize