You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
