we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
