I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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