just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
