coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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