you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I did not marry a roomba.
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