Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
