I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
