When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
