it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize