I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
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my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
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Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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