it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize
