Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
