One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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