Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
