at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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