I want to stick my p in your. b.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
