Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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