What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
