just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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