Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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