The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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