Taylor Swift is so right about you.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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