please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
