i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We need to rekindle our bromance
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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