brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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