what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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