im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
