Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
