In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
