East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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