Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
