I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
