her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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