Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
