I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
