hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
pray to the hookup gods
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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