What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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