Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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