Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize