Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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