he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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