using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize