Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
