it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
