Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
