wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
