I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
