I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
