she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize
