This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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